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Dizzying Intellect » Bob Vila Weekend

Category: Bob Vila Weekend

Unpaid product rave

Can I just tell you…. I bought one of these a few months ago, at Home Depot. I use it all the time, because I have ten foot ceilings with lighted ceiling fans in every single room in the house. If I stand on tiptoe on a chair, I can reach the bulbs, but it’s a pain. And since I’m a procrastinator, I have to set the chair, climb up, get on tiptoe, remove the bulb, get back down, switch to the new bulb, climb back up, up on tiptoes, put the new bulb back in, get down, move the chair to the next bulb that’s burned out, climb up… you get the idea.

Anyway, even if I didn’t use it regularly, it would totally have paid for itself tonight. I had two floodlights out in the yard. (No, they didn’t both go out today, so don’t tell me it’s a mad rapist, you freak.) They’re like 15-20 feet up in the air, at the top of a hill. I did have to put the changer on the longest setting, and really stretch to make it work, but it was like 50

Crazy Talk!

Home Depot, bless their blackened little hearts, are building something in my local store. So to make up for the missing space, they’ve rearranged the entire store. The entire store. And the stuff that was left over is in a big white prefab building in the parking lot. Which means that no one has the slightest idea where anything is. I’ve been there twice this week and it’s taken me an hour each time to find five things. Fortunately, they’ve moved most of the endcap signs to the correct new very general areas, or it would have taken even longer.

The layout of Home Depot is exactly the same in every store in the free world. Except this one. I mean, the paint-mixing section is in the back, by the garden center, and flooring is next to it. In the back of the store. Is anyone else picturing hell freezing over?

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You never saw me.

Sorry, back to tiling, painting, and the neverending unpacking. And it’s going to be almost 60

Bob Vila weekend

You know how the trash guys come once every few months and collect your big junk? Yeah, ok, if you live anyplace normal, you can leave your big junk out any week you need to get rid of it, but, well, this place isn’t even pretending to be normal.

Anyway. Thursday is my big junk day. So…

I spent the weekend tearing the old fixtures out of the upstairs bathroom. And swollen, rotten veneer out of the floor. And dragging them down the stairs into the foyer. The sink cabinet was too close to the tub, so water could get in between but then couldn’t dry. So it’s gone. Hello, pedestal sink. Well, not hello, exactly. More like, ahoy, pedestal sink on the horizon. Way out on the horizon. Or maybe that was just a dinghy…

I forgot to take before pictures, but the bare pipes pictures should be amusing. And I’ll be tiling the walls and floor for a while…

profile me.

Ok, I could handle being looked at askance if I showed up in a “normal” store sweaty, smelly, dirty, with hair in a disheveled ponytail, late on a Saturday morning.

But Home Depot? How can they look at you cross-eyed at Home Depot if you’ve obviously been working in the yard on the weekend and ran out of, in my case, bricks, and had to make a run for more?

*sigh*

And to make it worse, I was so flustered by the treatment, I forgot to buy more sand.

(Vaguely inspired by Rodya’s sort-of-similar venting)

Bob Vila Returns

In case you’ve forgotten, since the last time I told you: I am the most bad ass plumber ever, in the history of plumbers.

Ok, but I’m definitely the cutest. And no, there will be no butt crack photos.

I just fixed my shower. Let the Shiraz flow.

Update: Eh, the Shiraz was just flowing in a general, birthday-ish sort of way. Not flowing from the shower. Cool as that would be, in a Gatsbyesque sort of way, it would, unfortunately, defeat the purpose of the whole bathing thing…

Oooo. Tingly.

I just shocked the shit out of myself changing a light bulb. I hate renting - that thing’s a total fire hazard, and I can’t replace it. I haven’t been shocked by house current since I was in junior high, with as much electrical work as I do. What a dumbass.

Granted, you don’t trip the circuit breaker before you change a bulb. I wonder if it’s tripped now…

and wallpaper

one of the first things i did when i moved in here, was replace this ungodly sunshine yellow and orange wallpaper that was on one wall of the dining room. so now, three years later, i went in to buy more of the wallpaper to do the rest of the walls, which are wood. they’re actually very pretty, but i need a change. unfortunately, since i used it all, i don’t have the pattern number. i don’t know what possessed me, but rather than spend eighty-seven hours looking thru every book for the old, classical pattern, i went with purple. it’s actually two patterns. one is a lavender marble-ish design, and the other is purple filligree. the darker color is going under the chair rail, and the lighter above. i almost went with red patterns instead, which i liked much better, but it’s way too dark. anyway, this was a month and half ago, and the wallpaper is still in the bag. i just couldn’t convince myself to go purple. but i couldn’t convince myself to return it either. so i took it out last night to look at it, for the first time in weeks, and i think i actually like it. i think i’ve nearly grown the balls to install it. so it’s shaping up to be another bob villa weekend.

morning chores

i replaced my broken gutter. it ended up being really easy. i didn’t realize it was broken, and i thought i was going to have to install some kind of flashing. but once i got up there, i could see it had cracked. and it turns out my dad left an extra one in the rafters of my garage. just in case, i guess. i don’t even known how i knew it was there. for an atheist, it’s getting uncannily common that i feel him pushing me in certain directions and letting me know weird stuff like that. so i took the old one down and popped the new one in place. finished. is it bedtime yet? actually, no. i have to go fix my mom’s lawnmower now.

*sigh*

i think i’ll eat breakfast first. i’m getting hungry…

blah.

this started out to be such a productive day. i still have a dozen things that i need to do outdoors. i finished the leaves and mowed the lawn yesterday, but i was going to fix two of the fenceposts and put up the xmas lights and straighten up where the wonderful, amazing tree guy took out the two arborvitae on thursday… and it all just lost its momentum about 11am.

the pooch and i just went to the off-leash and i think that’s all that’s going to get done today. from here out, it’s fireplace and beaujolais nouveau and agatha christie, i believe.