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Dizzying Intellect » Pop Culture

Category: Pop Culture

We All Hate Them, Really.

Dear world,

If you’re going to make fun of a Britney Spears song, please don’t include a link. Someone did that for “Toxic,” five years ago (Billegible?), and it’s still stuck in rotation on my ipod. I don’t want to like this girl’s music. I don’t. And it’s easy enough to avoid, except when you enablers put it right there where I can hear it. And now I’ve had “If U Seek Amy” stuck in my head for the past three hours.

And I may be overthinking this, but after watching the video twice and humming the song for half a freaking lifetime, I think this song may actually be a lot more complicated than it sounds.

(I googled “if u seek amy meaning,” to find out if I’m right, and instead found out that the intertubes are full of idiots. Yes, she’s saying “f-u-c-k-me,” Einstein. That’s the deeper meaning. Thank you for that inspiring psychological boost.)

Now I’m not saying that she came up with all of this symbolism herself, but I think she might be a little pissed at the media. Calling her a (”ha ha hee hee ha ha”) HO, and giving her no help at all when she needed it (”Can’t somebody take me home”), and yet expecting her to be SuperMom 2.0 and crucifying her every time she made the tiniest parenting mistake (the piece at the end with the kids and the pie). It’s easy to see how she could start believing everything they said about her.

And certainly she was oversexed and very likely to be the next Anna Nicolesque pretty corpse for a while, but I like the idea that she has the good sense to be embarrassed and angry about it now.

Daggers?

I know I’m a few days late on this, but I finally watched the video, and it’s kind of cracking me up.

Anne Hathaway couldn’t hold back the rambling and tears as she received the dual honor of Best Actress (along with “Doubt” actress Meryl Streep) for her performance in “Rachel Getting Married” at Thursday night’s VH1 Critics Choice Awards. But one lady who looked less-than-impressed was fellow nominee Angelina Jolie.

Let’s put it this way: if looks could kill, Hathaway would definitely be dead.

FoxNews has harbored this irrational hatred of Angelina Jolie ever since she required interviewers to sign a contract stating that they wouldn’t ask questions about her personal life, when A Mighty Heart came out — heaven forbid she should want a film about terrorism to have actual publicity on its own merits — but this is just absurd. Here’s the video:

Does that look say “anger” to you? She just looks bored. To be honest, looking at other pictures from that evening, I imagine her train of thought was more like, “This is the first time I’ve been alone with Brad in six months. Why are we watching this inanity instead of doing something slightly more naked?”

Darwin Awards 2008

Yeah, the Darwin Awards for 2008 have been published. You all know that by now, right?

Two things that caught my eye: First, in Run! No, Run Away!, was anybody else taught to run toward the train if your car got stuck on the tracks? My driver’s ed teacher in high school told us a story about a family who got stuck on the tracks with a train coming, and ran away from the train. The impact of the train tore the hood off, and it flew like a frisbee, slicing two of them in half.

Of course, while running toward the train, you want to stay off the actual tracks, which I guess that guy failed to grasp. The brakes, on a train? Not so grabby.

The second thing: I’m not sure if the description is bad, or the idea was just stupid that it can’t be worded clearly, but I can’t visualize the ropes at all on Pining Away. Any insights?

I Will Fight

Not any particular commentary on the issue, exactly. The words just struck me immediately when I heard them, and it amused me.

Rod Blagojevich, on his current state of infamy, and his plan for dealing with it:

“Thank you very much. I’m here to tell you, right off the bat, that I am not guilty of any criminal wrongdoing, that I intend to stay on the job, and that I will fight this thing every step of the way. I will fight. I will fight. I will fight.”

Hee. Nice choice of wording, there, Rod.

I know. It’s a vague link without any reference. Just trust me and listen. :o)

[via Hot Air, with the R.B. video]

Dr Pepper Delivers

Hilarious. Dr Pepper is following through on its tongue-in-cheek promise to give everyone in America a free bottle of their soda, if Chinese Democracy dropped in 2008.

The album will finally be released on Sunday, so:

Beginning Sunday at 12:01 a.m., coupons for a free 20-ounce soda will be available for 24 hours on Dr Pepper’s Web site. They’ll be honored until Feb. 28.

I hope this turns out to be good publicity for them, because they’re being awfully good sports about it.

Meathead!

Oy gevalt.

“It’s an amazing feeling. It’s our first, you know, colored president,” the 22-year-old [Lindsay Lohan] said in response to a question from Maria Menounos on “Access Hollywood” about her reaction to Obama’s win in the 2008 presidential race.

Jeez. Did she pronounce it “cull-uhd” too?

I thought this was going to be over when they called California last Tuesday, but it keeps getting weirder and weirder. I don’t get why so many Republicans are behaving like Huffington Post writers, and I don’t get why so many blatantly racist Democrats bothered to vote for Obama.

I’m done worrying about it (at least until January) (because I have bigger issues on my plate) but I’m just… befuddled.

Rictusempra!

JK Rowling’s prequel to the Harry Potter books — just 800 words scribbled on a postcard, but worth it! — is available for viewing online.

Since you aren’t going to find a hard copy anywhere, yourself, have a look. I wasn’t able to find the handwritten version in a legible size online, but they’ve got it typed up at MuggleNet.

Priorities

I’ve never seen High School Musical (I know.) so I’m not sure what this reference is about, but I’ll tell you why it’s baffling.

HIGH School Musical knickers for young girls have sparked outrage — because they have the words “Dive in” on them.

Sue Ralph bought a packet of five pairs, with a “Disney-approved” design promoting the hit movie, for her seven-year-old granddaughter.

“You just never know who could see that and think it was a bit too enticing for a young child to be wearing.”

This story was on FoxNews, but I linked to The Sun because they have a picture. Look at that writing. It’s freaking microscopic.

If anyone has their head so close to your seven year old granddaughter’s crotch that they can read those tiny letters (and potentially be offended/enticed), the words should be the least of your worries. Pick up a frying pan and begin beating them with it immediately. Jeez.

I’m as horrified by little girls dressing like tarts as the next breeding-age woman, but a little perspective, please? (And come on, “dive in?” Getting innuendo from that is a tad histrionic.)

Mixed Feelings

Cadbury has released a Creme Egg for Christmas. The Cadbury Ornament Creme Egg.

I can’t decide how I feel about this. On one hand, is nothing sacred? On the other hand… creme eggs twice a year.

What say you?

p.s. They’re definitely getting smaller.

Save the Boobies!

There are still two days left in the 2007 Boobiethon!

cureandbust.gif

You simply must go see the boobies. My favorites are the “artsy” ones with body paint and water splashes and stuff. And my very favorite (so far) is the mehndi one on the pay-per-view site.

There are already at least a hundred pictures on the pay-per-view site, I think, so it’s totally worth it, and every single penny goes to the Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

Komen is my pet charity, and it means a lot to me, for personal reasons. I run in the Race For The Cure every year, donate and wear the pink, and I want to do the 3-day walk if I can ever find a freakin’ team. I’ve donated to the Boobiethon every year except 2003 (when they were still using PayPal and I couldn’t get it to work) and usually submitted photos too (No, I won’t tell you which ones). So I’m not just promoting something that I don’t believe in.

Please donate if you can, go admire the pictures if you’re so disposed, and link if you have a blog. This is really a good cause.


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