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Dizzying Intellect » Abroad

Category: Abroad

What they mean by “Crazy Bint”

Hilarious or sad? You decide.

Two twin Swedish sisters playing Frogger on the M6 near Birmingham. Both are hit by vehicles (obviously), but hop right up and keep fighting. It’s a little like the first season of Heroes, if Claire Bennett was an exhibitionist sociopath with a meth habit.

Just watch the video. Madness.

Sensationalism 101

Grrr. I got a spam email last week with the subject “Obama Killed in Surprise Attack” (I checked the news instead of clicking, so I don’t know what the rest said), and I wanted to hammer a six inch nail thru someone’s foot. I may have to chew thru someone’s neck for this:

Lady Thatcher to be honoured with State funeral, but Palace fears there might not be enough troops to line streets of London

Bloody hell, people. I’m too young for a heart attack. Let’s not go wildly speculating about the details of someone’s funeral until they’re actually deceased, shall we, you bloodthirsty pigs? Seriously.

(And I, personally, would gladly assist — with an axe, if necessary. When the time comes.)

Right, Left, Right, Left? Nope.

I don’t have much to add to this, I just find it intriguing.

Mystery deepens as 4th severed foot found

Another severed human foot has been discovered washed ashore on Canada’s Pacific coast, but police are no closer to solving the gruesome mystery.

The foot, still wearing a shoe, was discovered on Thursday on a small uninhabited island south of Vancouver in the Strait of Georgia, and is the fourth discovered in the region in the past 10 months.

The previous cases all involved right feet still in sneakers, and each was found on a different island.

Four right feet. No lefts. Crazy.

I can hardly wait until they learn more (I’m sure the Vancouver police feel the same way, in spades). This just fascinates me.

Dang-It Dolls

I don’t know quite what it is about this story that gets me.

The grandmother of a young man in the Air Force made him a stuffed doll to beat on when he got frustrated and homesick. She didn’t think he’d even want it, but he wrote back and asked for more of them. His colleagues wanted their own, and she complied.

She’s sent out 17,000 of them so far.

“Everybody around me asks for one,” [her grandson] said in a phone interview from his base in Little Rock, Ark. “And I tell them, even if they destroy one, that’s what it’s for. I can give you more.”

The foot-tall figures are made during periodic gatherings of military spouses, college students and friends who form assembly lines in Davis’ garage in this small city outside Columbia. Piles of dolls covered tables and bookshelves.

Davis formed a nonprofit group to absorb the costs, with shipping being the highest expense. Most of the supplies are donated, she said.

“When you come to a workshop to help, you have to bring a box of stuffing,” she said. “We will feed you, but you have to bring some stuffing.”

It surprised me at first that that they’d be so popular, but it’s a handmade, American thing, in the middle of the desert. It’s personal and punchable at the same time. What’s not to love?

Army Staff Sgt. James Borchardt said that when tension rises in his tactical operations center in Iraq, he grabs his doll by the legs and beats the stuffing out of it.

“It made me laugh more than anything,” he said in an e-mail. “I gave them to almost everyone in my unit.”

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Parachutes

Oy.

Air France tests in-flight mobile phone service allowing passengers to chat mid-air

Ah, just think of it. Nine uninterrupted hours of listening to the idiot next to you go “blah blah blah.” It’s not bad enough that you have to listen to these morons babble about their stupid lives while you’re in the grocery store and the post office and the airport, where at least you can walk away.

I’m not sure whether I’d throw the talker off the plane, mid-Atlantic, or just jump myself.

When I was a kid, they had smoking sections on airplanes. It didn’t really work, because, of course, the smoke didn’t stop where the smoking section ended. This is a great opportunity to perfect that idea. A phoning section.

It’s completely surrounded by soundproof plexiglass.

And has limited oxygen.

All Bad

This one’s all bad, but I’ll try to come up with something cheerful to follow.

One of my two favorite authors, Terry Pratchett, has this godawful, early-onset form of Alzheimer’s, called posterior cortical atrophy. And he’s only 59, for pete’s sake, younger than my parents. England’s National Health won’t even pay for the Alzheimer’s medicine, because he’s too young. That’s how absurd it is.

He’s got two books in the works right now, and hopefully he’ll get both of those done, and plenty more, before the symptoms get too bad. Or they’ll find a cure, even better. (Thanks for the heads-up, Daniel. I guess.)

And then my other favorite author… Not her, really, but Maggie Smith, has breast cancer. She’s finished the sixth Harry Potter film, and has undergone radiation, so hopefully she’ll be well too.

But it all just pisses me off! Dammit.

That is all.

Joe Stalin, phone your office

Suddenly, the Truthers don’t seem quite as stupid

One in four Britons don’t believe wartime Prime Minister Winston Churchill existed, according to a recent survey.

Churchill is compared to Florence Nightingale and Sir Walter Raleigh, seen by many survey respondents as a mythical person, the London Daily Mail reported Monday.

The survey, conducted with 3,000 respondents to test their general knowledge, reported other historical figures such as Indian leader Mahatma Gandhi, Cleopatra and the Duke of Wellington were made up for books and films, the Mail reported.

The survey, by UKTV Gold, also found that Sherlock Holmes was a real person.

I’m speechless.

That sounds about right.

I just can’t let this gem pass. From an article about all the Islamists whining about what the Pope read:

“Anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence,” Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Tasnim Aslam said.

If you call me intolerant I’ll kill you. I’m guessing she doesn’t see any irony at all in that.

Damn those carbs.

SI.com - Australian cheerleaders told to cover up midriffs

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - Australian cheerleaders have been banned from baring midriffs by officials of the sport who fear displays of skin may encourage eating disorders.

Excellent. Sharp thinking. Let’s demonize the healthy thin girls, who exercise and have muscles and curves - and put Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie and the other stick figure lollipop heads on the cover of every magazine on the planet. That’ll get rid of those nasty eating disorders.

Grrrrr.

Dramatic Showing for Hamas in Palestinian Elections

What a relief. Now I won’t have to feel guilty for having zero sympathy about the death of any palistinian over legal voting age. Whew. That’s a load off my mind.