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Dizzying Intellect » Election ‘08

Category: Election '08

For the Conservative Who Has Everything

Because you know you want it:

The Sarah Palin 2009 Calendar (via Tammy Bruce)

Actually, I was looking around after seeing that, and this is much cooler. Though, not nearly as convenient in an office cubicle:

Sarah Palin Life-Size Standup Poster

Awesome. :o)

Meathead!

Oy gevalt.

“It’s an amazing feeling. It’s our first, you know, colored president,” the 22-year-old [Lindsay Lohan] said in response to a question from Maria Menounos on “Access Hollywood” about her reaction to Obama’s win in the 2008 presidential race.

Jeez. Did she pronounce it “cull-uhd” too?

I thought this was going to be over when they called California last Tuesday, but it keeps getting weirder and weirder. I don’t get why so many Republicans are behaving like Huffington Post writers, and I don’t get why so many blatantly racist Democrats bothered to vote for Obama.

I’m done worrying about it (at least until January) (because I have bigger issues on my plate) but I’m just… befuddled.

Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave?

It’s been more than a full day, and I still can’t stop giggling at this picture.

More Importantly

All of you that are expending all of your energy on useless wailing, rending, gnashing, etc? Could you channel some of that fervor into changing the primary election rules, to make them party only, instead of open?

You know, so the democrats and independents don’t pick our candidate for us again, next time?

Great, thanks.

Endgame

I spent the evening watching the results, nominally at least, with my liberal girlies, as I may have mentioned. I don’t actually know any other conservatives in real life, this being an extremely blue city.

Sadly, they weren’t really interested in watching the results, and I wandered off by myself and parked in front of MSNBC on their tv. Within half an hour, all of the also-liberal boyfriends and husbands had joined me (except the one enterprising single guy who noticed that all of the women were herded and unchaperoned).

The next few hours were… enlightening. I still can’t believe some of the things that came out of their mouths: “This is the end of the white man’s burden. Thank God. The blacks had better stop bitching now.” “All of the people at this one polling place on the news were black. All of them. But the one woman they spoke to was actually articulate.”

And my personal favorite: “I hope he manages to keep all of his campaign promises — because if he doesn’t, he’s going to end up just like Kennedy. (long pause) Dead. Hahahaha!”

I mean, these are people that voted for him. Holy shit.

(And we’re supposed to be the bigots?!)

Anyway. I think it’s going to be ok. Our taxes will go up, obviously, but that’s happened before. This is still the USA, and we have checks and balances in this country. They’ll be minimized with one party completely in power, but congress isn’t crazy. They want to keep their jobs.

And it’s only four years. Or less, if he actually tries that bankrupting-the-energy-companies scheme, and gets the Gray Davis Treatment. I suspect rolling blackouts will be even less popular in states that don’t have warm winters and “dry heat.”

In the long run, it’ll be good, I think, for the democrats to get exactly what they asked for, and also for some of them to find out that it’s not what they actually want. A lot of people are liberals because they think they’re “supposed” to be (as I was for most of my life), and don’t yet realize what it actually entails, and what it does to their net income.

I wish they’d gotten that message from their hand-picked congress with its 10% approval rating, but some lessons take more learning than others.

This isn’t how I wanted the election to turn out, obviously, but I’m not rejecting the fact that Obama is my legally elected President. I won’t hesitate to praise him when he does well — and he will do some things very well — and I’ll try not to mock him when he says things like “Tollybon” and tells Angela Merkel to “Hold on a minute, sweetie.” (And promptly loses a few teeth.)

When he makes mistakes that matter, I’ll berate him, but I would hope the democrats will do the same.

Obama strikes me as a good man, and he’ll have his cabinet to help him. He ran a strong race, and, frankly, it’s going to be an amazing thing to have a black president. We’ve come a long way in the last fifty years, and — as much as I don’t care what most of the world thinks of us — it’s good for countries who still have major racial issues to see that this is a healthy thing.

And I have to admit, it’s kind of a relief to have this be someone else’s problem now.

Update: Just to clarify, I’ll go Dagny Taggart in a heartbeat, when and if it comes to that.

But I’ll never go John Galt, because he was a pussy who turned tail and ran before the fight even started. And those of you who are giving up today, more than two months before inauguration day? You’re pussies too. And I wouldn’t trust you to have my back, when and if the shit hits the fan.

Just so I’m clear.

Ugh.

Election officials say nearly 1.6 million out of 3.2 million Colorado voters have cast early ballots.

Still, don’t expect final results Tuesday.

Denver Election Commission spokesman Alton Dillard says the “days of having your close to final results by 10 p.m. are over.” He says officials have tried to make it clear from early on that workers will still be counting ballots into Wednesday, and that still holds true.

Dillard says the process to tabulate paper and mail-in ballots is time consuming.

The good news? That means Colorado’s close, right?

More good-ish news?

Larimer and Jefferson county officials say they’ve finished counting all mail-in ballots received by 5 p.m. Monday.

That’s not too bad of a lag (in theory, anyway, since I have no idea how many they’ll get today). It’s not like they haven’t started counting at all.

The bad news?

I still doubt it’ll be done by 2am. Which means I’m setting something on fire. And I’m taking suggestions.

Update: Or not.

Aww.

And awesome.

“I’m just so proud to be Sarah’s father.” Heath said smiling, “Years ago I taught Sarah how to field dress a moose. But tomorrow I want you to see her field dress a donkey.”

Vote.

One More Time

I know I’ve said it and said it, but I’m sure not stopping now.

Don’t. Give. Up.

We can still win this. All of the swing states (including my own) are far too close to call. But Obama will definitely win if we don’t get our butts out there and vote. Bring a book and a beach chair, and a bottle of iced tea (or coffee and an umbrella if it’s raining where you are), and get in line. Or if you’re lucky enough to live in a district without a long wait, then bite me just get up and go.

Vote Baby, Vote.

And take someone with you, if you can. A conservative, preferably.

That’s Blackmail!

More Election Eve hilarity — this one courtesy of Iowahawk.

Come on, it’s laugh or drink, and it’s too early to drink.

[via Quid Nimis]

Why We Only Need One Debate

Hilarious.

If this election doesn’t end by 2am on Wednesday morning, I’m going to set something on fire.