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Dizzying Intellect » 2001» June

droogie

Have we forgotten that a man and a woman can be friends? In Russian, there is no word for an opposite-sex friend. When a woman says “droog,” if she is referring to a female, it means friend, male, it means boyfriend. Period. I have no idea what they do with lesbians, in retrospect. It’s entirely possible that Chandra Levy was having an affair with her congressman. Probable, in fact. My immediate thought, a month ago, was “these stupid little girls keep thinking that they can just bend over for a grown man, and it’ll be happily ever after…” and then “I’ll bet she was just obsessed. She has some kind of daddy fixation, or maybe it’s the power thing, like all the rest…” then “I’ll bet the wife killed her.” But it’s also more than feasible that she was hooked on another intern, another politician, or even a page, for crying out loud. When Condit calls her a good friend, maybe she really was just that. Men and women can be friends, especially when one or both are devoted to someone else, or, even better, when there’s a thirty year age gap. Yuk. This will be much more of a tragedy if she really was a nice girl, in love with some single boy her own age. We’ll probably never know.

john lee hooker

My favorite John Lee Hooker song, by far, is a duet with BB King. It’s called “You Shook Me” and it’s one of the sexiest songs I’ve ever heard. You should go find it now, and dance for him.

charlie brown

Ok, so Chicago has its cows, Cincinnati has its pigs, Boston has its cod, Atlanta probably has peaches. Well, we have Charlie Brown. That’s right, the American icon with the big round head. This is Charles Schulz’ hometown and we’re damn proud of it. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, in major cities, businesses put identical enormous concrete statues on the sidewalk, painted however they’d like. Our Charlie, one of the few painted like a human, instead of abstract, is in a red shirt with yellow zig-zag stripe, holding a bunch of flowers in one hand, and a palm pilot in the other - with “Online Order: Flowers for the little redhaired girl” on the screen. He has three red kisses on his head from the little redhaired girl (not me, but it could be). Over the weekend, and I love this part, he collected a lot more. When we got to work today, he had dozens of lipstick kisses from real girls, all over his head. None obstructed his face, which is sweet, and it’s nice to see the locals appreciate a local legend.