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Dizzying Intellect » 2003» November

Morbidity and Mayhem

Today was my parents’ anniversary. This should be really bad. I’ll either spend six hours on the phone with my inebriated and crying mom, or she won’t call at all and I’ll give myself an ulcer worrying about her.

I’m going back to bed.

Howard Dean Eats Kitten Fetuses!

I think these are supposed to be left wing propaganda, but some of them are really good…

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Dizzying Intellect

CNN’s once again showing that brilliant insight for which they’re known.

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What say we let them go at least two days without mutilating any of our soldiers before we give them a shot at our Commander-in-Chief, huh? Jesus.

Right. Winter.

So much for warm enough to wear shorts and sweater. I just went to sit outside with the hund, and it’s snowing.

Open Letter

To the Iraqi People,

I’m an American, and I’m proud of it. I know you can’t comprehend that right now. You may hate us now, and that’s understandable. You see us as oppressors and occupiers, because that’s what your media and your friends tell you that we are. We can’t give you your freedom, but we can hold back the people who would keep it from you, and we will continue to do so until they are no longer a threat to you or us. When you take that freedom for yourselves, you’ll understand who and what we are.

Respectfully,
Max

Thanksgiving

I’m thankful for grey skies and bare trees. I’m thankful for my family, even if I can’t see them. I’m thankful for people outside of Louisiana who know what ‘cajun’ means and have access to crawfish. I’m thankful for cold enough weather to feel the coming winter, but warm enough to sit on the patio in shorts and sweater with the beloved hund, drinking Newcastle and smoking a half-ass but half-decent cigar and reading. I miss the fuck out of my dad. I’m not happy, but I suppose I’m content.

“He has not earned light, he earned peace.” –Mikhail Afanasevich Bulgakov

Update: I forgot four-day weekends, sleeping til noon, and the Detroit Lions.

Oh dear.

Reuters: Women Needed to Test Orgasm Machine

An American surgeon who has patented a device that triggers an orgasm has begun a clinical trial approved by the Food and Drug Administration in the United States and is looking for female volunteers.

“I thought people would be beating my door down to become part of the trial,” pain specialist Dr Stuart Meloy told New Scientist magazine on Wednesday.

But so far only one woman has completed the first stage of the trial, with apparently breathtaking results, and a second has agreed to take part.

Breathtaking results. Heh.

Yes, I really did link it just for that line.

Volumes

FOXNews.com - Israeli Doctors Working to Save Iraqi Baby

Week-old girl has heart defect untreatable at home; family flown to Jordan, driven to Jerusalem for operation

The cost of the surgery and the family’s expenses were being covered by “Save a Child’s Heart,” an Israeli-based charity.

I almost don’t want to touch this one, it says so much on its own. Just try to imagine this ever happening in reverse, even if the technology were available. Baghdad will probably never have that kind of medical care, but a Jewish baby in, say, Riyadh? She’d be a lampshade by now.

The Anti-Ohrwurm

Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Someday I Suppose.mp3 (expired)

This song will scrape any ohrwurm from your head instantly. It’s almost as foolproof as “California Uber Alles” which is the song I actually used last night, but if I take the DK cd out of my alarm clock to rip it, I’ll forget to put it back and be late for work.

Woo!

I got my house. I’m pretty psyched, except for the fact that the seller and my realtor are about to come to blows. I hate getting in the middle of shit like this, but I think she’s going to put him in his (getting very greedy) place, so I’m not too worried. And the buyer’s remorse should be kicking in in about… nine minutes now.

3/4 acre of land for the hund, and a great little neighborhood in Creve Coeur. And it’s apparently in the fourth highest ranked school district in the country. So now all I have to do is breed. *snort*

Update: The seller has gone from being an annoying prick to a full-fledged asshole. Unfortunately, he’s being really nice to me, and awful to my realtor, so I’m having trouble legislating my dislike. Most of the time, I just want to stand on his stupid condescending fucking neck, but then he just called and asked me if I want to come over for Thanksgiving dinner. This is going to be a fun month.