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Dizzying Intellect » 2006» June

Murder In Tennessee

The preacher’s wife who killed her husband back in March, Mary Winkler, is up for a bond hearing today.

I used know two of her defense attorneys, socially, when I lived in Mississippi, so I’ll admit to having more than an average interest in this case, and perhaps even some bias. But I found this bit really interesting, since they’ve made the preacher sound like such a saint this whole time.

[The neighbor across the street] and her husband, Dan, said they saw another side to Matthew Winkler that troubled them. After their rottweiler, Madison, wandered into the Winklers’ yard, the preacher threatened to shoot the dog.

“I remember saying to myself, ‘This is not new neighbor behavior. This is not preacher behavior. What is this aggression?’ Boy, I betcha he’s fun to live with,” she said. (emphasis mine)

Nice guy.

Read more »

Place Yer Wagers

So, how long do you think it’ll take for these folks to get sued for the first baby/pet death? In, say, Arizona? Where the temperature outside the car is above 107°F? I’m guessing mid-July at the latest.

People, please don’t help the baby-cooking idiots. Seriously.

July 13, 2007

Let the countdown to Order of the Phoenix, the movie, begin!

Since it’s conspiracy theory day…

Do you think Dubya’s intentionally alienating his own party? That he realizes that he’s done too much damage, and that no Republican can possibly get enough distance from him to win in 2008, so he’s developed a brilliant scheme to push the moderates of both parties together? In the hopes that together, by sheer force of numbers, we can make the democrats nominate a moderate - or maybe even a conservative democrat! - in the next election, instead of another moonbat like Kerry or Gore? Stabilizing the country and uniting the people?

Yeah, me neither. It’d sure be nice, tho.

Thinking of an old friend from Kennebunk

A Texan, a guy from Massachusetts, and a Mainer are riding horses out on the range…

The Texan, just to show off, pulls an expensive bottle of whiskey out of his saddlebag, takes a couple drinks, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it in mid-air. The guy from Massachusetts is shocked and asks, “What are you doing? That’s a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!” The Texan replies, “In Texas, there’s plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap!”

A little while later, not wanting to be outdone, the guy from Massachusetts pulls out a bottle of champagne, takes a few sips, throws the bottle into air, pulls out his gun and shoots it, just like the Texan.The guy from Maine can’t believe it. “What are you doing? That was a very expensive bottle of champagne. With a wink to the Texan he says “In Boston, there’s plenty of champagne and bottles are cheap.”

About 15 minutes later, the Mainer pulls out a bottle of beer. He opens it and takes a sip. Then another sip. Then he chugs the rest of the bottle. Then he places the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun and shoots the guy from Massachusetts. The Texan is visibly shaken. “What did you do that for?!?!”

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In a surreal way…

I was listening to Leonard Cohen on the iTrip on the way to work today, and it reminded me of an article I read a few weeks ago, saying that Prince Charles - who is my mother’s age - is a big Cohen fan.

At the time, I wondered if he meant George Cohan and the reporter had just typed it wrong, but something about “gravel voiced” and “Canadian” came into the conversation, and cleared that up. I’ve never a big fan of Prince Charles, but I have to admit, I find the idea of his highness lounging in the back of the Bentley, iPod headphones on, humming along with “Give me crack / anal sex / Take the only tree that’s left / and stuff it up the hole in your culture,” to be practically endearing.

Darwinism In Action

2 found dead inside deflated balloon

Two college students were found dead inside a large, deflated helium balloon after apparently pulling it down and crawling inside it, officials said.

I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here, when I say that college students should know that humans primarily breathe oxygen or oxygen/nitrogen, right?

And that a helium balloon would typically contain, well, helium? Or perhaps, once the helium is gone, nothing? (Except the recently exhaled carbon dioxide of idiots, of course.)

If this doesn’t make the 2006 Darwin Awards, I’m planning a formal protest.