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Dizzying Intellect » Darwin Awards 2008

Darwin Awards 2008

Yeah, the Darwin Awards for 2008 have been published. You all know that by now, right?

Two things that caught my eye: First, in Run! No, Run Away!, was anybody else taught to run toward the train if your car got stuck on the tracks? My driver’s ed teacher in high school told us a story about a family who got stuck on the tracks with a train coming, and ran away from the train. The impact of the train tore the hood off, and it flew like a frisbee, slicing two of them in half.

Of course, while running toward the train, you want to stay off the actual tracks, which I guess that guy failed to grasp. The brakes, on a train? Not so grabby.

The second thing: I’m not sure if the description is bad, or the idea was just stupid that it can’t be worded clearly, but I can’t visualize the ropes at all on Pining Away. Any insights?

5 Comments

  • By og, January 5, 2009 @ 6:32 pm

    Ropes to top of tree. You have to tie the other end to a secure object, like a larger tree, or a freight train. Not your waist. I’ve done this to keep a tree from falling on my house when I cut it.

  • By Tanya, January 5, 2009 @ 7:37 pm

    Nah, there’s something more complicated going on. “The middle tree was lassoed and levered by the rope running through the end tree,” and they got yanked up the end tree, even though the middle tree fell the right way. I guess I understand what happened, but not the purpose of the end tree.

  • By Kurt P, January 5, 2009 @ 8:33 pm

    I think they did it so the top part of the rope would be treetop to treetop and anchored on the ground by our two strong backs and weak minds.

  • By og, January 5, 2009 @ 9:56 pm

    The rope ran through the end tree because that’s the only place to run the rope. If you have a tree tied to your waist, and the tree falls, it just drags you on the ground. if the middle tree is obscured by the end tree, and you run the ropes through the end tree because that’s the only way to get the ropes to the ground, the middle tree pulls on the ropes- whcih, having been threaded through the branches of the end tree, first yanks you off the ground, through the branches of the end tree, and then back to the ground, after being briefly airborne.

    Thankfully, I only know about this from firsthand experience with a relatively small tree. I wish I didn’t have this memory, but I do.

  • By Matt, January 6, 2009 @ 8:29 am

    My informal poll of three people showed “Boner!” with a 100% approval rating.

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